| THE MUST KNOW FOR YOUR FAMILY |
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| Different Strokes |
January 23, 2006
They look differently, they act differently, and they talk differently.
You can count the differences between your two kids using your
fingers, your
toes, and all the
neighbors’
phalanges too.
So, you wonder, “To treat them the same or to treat them
differently?” That is the question. Well, here we are with an
answer for you that you’ll use again and again, because this tip is
just that good!
According to a research study in the Journal of Family
Psychology, differential treatment of children can lead to parent-
child relationship problems when the treatment is seen as unfair.
Differential treatment happens pretty often in many families, and
sometimes it’s necessary because children differ in their ages,
needs, and behaviors. So, avoid putting so much pressure on
yourself to do things the exact same way for all your kids. It’s not
necessary. But, what is necessary is for you to realize that your
kids aren’t mind readers. Even though it may seem fair for you to
give one child a well-deserved privilege, your other kids may not
have guessed your rationale. So, avoid any misperceptions,
prevent strains in your relationship, and put an end to the
incessant pleas of “But, mom, you let him do it” by sticking to what’
s fair. Talk openly with your children about why one child may get
a larger allowance, more telephone time, and more driving
privileges.
Giving your kids the rationale behind your differential treatment is
a great way for you to make sure your treatment is always based
on fairness.
Because sometimes a little checks and balances is just what we
need.
They look differently, they act differently, and they talk differently.
You can count the differences between your two kids using your
fingers, your
toes, and all the
neighbors’
phalanges too.
So, you wonder, “To treat them the same or to treat them
differently?” That is the question. Well, here we are with an
answer for you that you’ll use again and again, because this tip is
just that good!
According to a research study in the Journal of Family
Psychology, differential treatment of children can lead to parent-
child relationship problems when the treatment is seen as unfair.
Differential treatment happens pretty often in many families, and
sometimes it’s necessary because children differ in their ages,
needs, and behaviors. So, avoid putting so much pressure on
yourself to do things the exact same way for all your kids. It’s not
necessary. But, what is necessary is for you to realize that your
kids aren’t mind readers. Even though it may seem fair for you to
give one child a well-deserved privilege, your other kids may not
have guessed your rationale. So, avoid any misperceptions,
prevent strains in your relationship, and put an end to the
incessant pleas of “But, mom, you let him do it” by sticking to what’
s fair. Talk openly with your children about why one child may get
a larger allowance, more telephone time, and more driving
privileges.
Giving your kids the rationale behind your differential treatment is
a great way for you to make sure your treatment is always based
on fairness.
Because sometimes a little checks and balances is just what we
need.
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| The Source How the Differential Treatment of Siblings Is Linked With Parent-Child Relationship Quality. By Kowal, Amanda K.; Krull, Jennifer L.; Kramer, Laurie Journal of Family Psychology. 18(4), Dec 2004, 658-665 |
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| Differential treatment of children can lead to parent-child relationship problems when the treatment is seen as unfair. |